Houlton Sabbatical Reflections
A LETTER TO CROSS OF GRACE SANTA ANA FROM PASTOR KYLE HOULTON:
Six weeks have already elapsed since May 29, when I began my first-ever sabbatical. It’s now drawn to a close. As we explained at our most recent member’s meeting, our pastoral team approached this sabbatical with deep purpose and intention. It was no mere 6 week vacation. We asked the Lord to accomplish things for the sake of our local church, for the sake of our family and for the sake of our city. There’s more to come, but I wanted to share 4 major takeaways/reflections from this sabbatical with you:
1. I’m Profoundly Grateful For Our Church
Simply stated, these 6 weeks wouldn’t have happened without you. I had zero church-related responsibilities. Full stop. My mind, heart and schedule were freed up in a way that hasn’t happened in over 8 years. I’m very aware that my rest was made possible by your work. Your faith-filled, God-glorifying, yet hard work. The Lord sees it and I can’t sufficiently express my gratitude - but I’ll try. In the coming weeks, months and years, I want to make it my aim to thank you and to help you increasingly see and praise God for His grace actively at work in every single one of you.
2. Our Santa Ana Neighbors Are Still Worth Our Investment
I went into this 6 weeks asking questions like, “Is Downtown Santa Ana still where we’re called as a church?” and “What kind of a church is the Lord positioning us to be toward our neighbors for the next 5 years?”. There’s much more to come on this, but I’m more convinced than ever that in a city where church plants come and go, where anti-Gospel ideology has a deep foothold, where the brokenness of living in a fallen world is worn on the sleeve of most of our neighbors, God has positioned us well to be a faithful witness to His grace through His Son, Jesus Christ. Our neighborhood doesn’t need another flash-in-the pan church plant. They need a long-time presence of faithful Gospel proclamation. Let’s be the next 100 year church in Santa Ana.
3. There’s a Cost To Neglecting The Main Things
I had more consistent devotions, read more good books and spent more prolonged time with my wife and kids than I have in 6 years. I read Providence by John Piper, Men and Women in the Church by Kevin DeYoung, Man of Sorrows King of Glory by Jonty Rhodes, finished rereading the Lord of the Rings trilogy and almost finished reading the Eragon series. I also spent two full weeks giving undivided attention to my wife and kids as we vacationed in northern and central CA. The sudden renewed presence of these three things (1. Consistent communion w/ God, 2. reading as a learner, 3. Substantial attention to family) in my life made me sweetly aware of what I had been missing - and served as a warning alarm to the harm of their neglect. I’m busy. Yes. So are you. I get it. We live in Southern California. But if we use the typical “badge of honor” of busyness as an excuse to neglect our personal relationship with God, we do so to our own harm. If we say we have no time to posture our hearts and minds to be enriched by reading and learning in such a way that our understanding of God and ourselves increases, that our imaginations are stimulated and that God’s Word is more deeply inscribed on our hearts, we do so to our own harm. And fathers and husbands, especially, if we chalk our inconsistent, nominal, typically-impatient, cursory time with our wives and kids to the pace of life we’re keeping, we do so to our own harm - and theirs.
4. Rest Glorifies God
Our small group has grown tired of hearing me talk about how I’m not sure how to pave a way toward consistent rhythms of rest. There is no virtue in consistently talking about a problem unless you walk forward in the obedience of faith to address it. This is especially true because an inability to rest can easily reflect a prideful heart that sees oneself as necessary, indispensable and independent. Yet, the Gospel teaches me that only One is necessary, that I am dispensable (and it’s only by grace that I’ve not been dispensed with, but have instead been called into Christ’s service!) and that I am utterly dependent. This 6 weeks was restful. I have some key ideas for how to prioritize rest and pave a sustainable way forward for our family in the future. But you know what? I’m also keenly aware that you have been serving every Sunday, week in and week out. Some of you, for nearly 5 years. You love our Savior. That love pours out into a robust and hard-working love for one another and for our city. But you need rest as much as I do. I’m coming away with some key ideas to pave a way for a rest-prioritizing sustainable future for our church as well.
More to come. For God's glory. For the joy of our Santa Ana neighbors. For our good.